Baby Carson

I had to post this picture that Maddie drew of our family. It isn't one of her best, but it is the subject of the drawing that made me look twice:) She is obsessed lately with me having another baby. So this is a picture of our family taking a walk. "Baby Carson" of course is in my stomach! Crap, give me a break for a few months! She talks about him all of the time and our future always has Carson in it, and lately Emily.

If any of you have ever seen Saturdays Warrior you know that Emily is the one up in Heaven telling her big brother on earth to not let her parents forget about her. I look Maddie in the eyes and ask her if she thinks there are even more babies up there. I know it is silly but I do trust her instincts a lot. She knew Cheyenne was a girl and we let her name her as well. When I was younger I knew that something ws missing in our family and it didn't go away until my little sister was adopted. For that reason and for Maddies sweet spirit I listen to her when she talks about her other siblings in Heaven. I REALLY hope that after Carson she will be satisfied though! I don't know if I want more than 4 at this point but right now 3 takes a lot of work:)

I am also very aware of those around me who have had trouble conceiving, having miscarriages, stillborn, birth defects and I am very nervous about the next pregnancy. I feel incredibly blessed to have healthy babies, and although I had bedrest for 2 mths with the last pregnancy as a precaution, I have had good pregnancies and healthy babies. The more I have though the more my chances increase of having a problem. Does anyone else wonder how the pioneers could have had so many children, as well as endure the death of so many babies?