Big Belly:)

This is my belly shot of 2 mths and my new 6 mth shot. I am still smaller than my previous 3 pregnancies, but I have really grown the past 3 weeks. I swear I woke up and there was this big belly:) I also need a lot more pillows to get comfortable these days, and more trips to the bathroom...
My other pics are in just the bikini:) Not because I am pregnant super model girl, but because I like to have the photos of just the belly for me--I think the pregnant body is amazing and you can see it more clearly without all of the clothes. My hubby doesn't understand why I can't just wear a sweater, but I am not sure if that is because he doesn't want his wife's "hot bod" on the internet or because he is embarrassed the world will see all of my stretch marks:)

This little guy has gotten to be quite the aggressive one, just like my others. I have jumped a couple of times this week, surprised by such a hard kick. He seems to get active when he hears his siblings, and since they are usually loud and by me, he is usually active:)

Me and the kids watched the ultrasound dvd of him last week and they really got into it. Cheyenne kept saying, "ohhh, baby boy.." and "hold him" to the tv. Maddie kept telling the kids she thinks it is a puppy and pointing out floppy ears, 4 legs and a long nose..she was cracking herself up:) Aj was excited because "he has a crotch just like me!" :)

Afterwards they wanted to play doctor with my tummy and all had a doctor instrument on me. It worked out in my favor because I was able to relax on the couch while they checked me out and Maddie massaged lotion on me--we should really do this every day:) I of course thought about taking pictures of them obsessing over my belly, but it is difficult to take a picture when you are the belly:) Cheyenne kept saying "Carson baby, where are you?" Aj is more aware of this pregnancy and says to my belly, "hello, little brother", but he can't sit still and focus long enough to feel the kicks right now.

I am 24 weeks and have mixed emotions right now. My nephew was born stillborn less than 2 years ago at this stage of my sisters pregnancy. It has made me do a lot of thinking this pregnancy, and more aware of this little boy inside me. I was so carefree in my previous pregnancies, and although I enjoy the movement and growth of this baby as much, I have more worries as well. I wonder how my faith would handle losing the baby this week. How would I handle it mentally as well. It is painful to watch someone you love go through this pain, and wonder how you would handle it yourself. Can you really prepare yourself for something like that? I am pretty sure this is my last pregnancy and I want to enjoy it for the last time, but the other part of me just wants to speed it up and have this baby in my arms! I tend to worry if I let myself go, so like everything else I have to take it in baby steps. Seriously, I start thinking of Madison in 1st grade trying to find someone to eat with at lunch, or AJ losing at his first big game, or Cheyenne's first day of Kindergarten and I get anxious for them and get teary! I get overwhelmed thinking how I am going to help all 4 of these kids through all of these experiences in life, and still be able to sleep at night without worry. It gets easier as they get older right? :)