1 year ago Cheyenne wanted to start potty training. She was 23 months old. I didn't plan on it. I discouraged it at first. I was pregnant and we had just moved into a condo and waiting to move into our new home. It was bad timing, but she continued to take off her pants and ask to go potty. In fact she went perfectly, especially #2. I didn't understand when parents said their child went #1 in the potty but not #2.
Fast forward....it has been a adventure potty training her, but I didn't really see too much of a problem when the baby was born, but maybe a bit when we were moving and settling in. She has occasional pee pee accidents when she gets busy playing, but she is amazing when we are out and about.
About 3 months ago she pooped in her pants and we took care of it. She didn't get a potty treat of course and I just figured it to be a random accident. But it now happens EVERY DAY. I seriously can not even think of a time she has gone in the potty. She goes #1 whenever she needs too. I watch for the signs that she needs to go #2 and will have her sit on the potty. After a few minutes she gets off and sometimes within minutes will go in her pants. Usually it is when she takes her naps or goes to sleep at night...she relaxes and lets it all out....meaning I wake up to a lovely task each morning or when I check her at night and have to wake her up to change her pull up.
I tried tons of rewards to encourage her with special treats for going #2, but she can't ever get one when she never goes for months.
Then I decided to approach it differently and use a little punishment. It is no longer accidents, and she goes to me and tells me with a little smirk that she pooped her pants. So I started putting her on the time out chair when she did it. She didn't like it so I thought it would change things, but it continued the same. Now she is afraid to tell me she pooped her pants and will hide from me. I know she has done it when I walk in the room (besides the smell) because she gets attitude and tells me she doesn't want to talk to me when I haven't said a word.
So I decided to read a little bit on the subject and it reminded me to not use punishment. But I did the rewards, tried the punishment and a year later I am lost....so now I am doing the "I don't care attitude". The book says to explain where the poop goes when there is an accident and help her clean up---I have her put the pull up or panties away but don't really want her getting it all over herself and my bathroom. They say to put them in the shower to clean off, but this is way too much when I have the baby already demanding me PLUS she really loves the shower so it would seem a reward to me. 
So I try to not get mad at her so she won't hide it from me but still let her know where it goes. I still have some fun rewards if she goes in the potty. I even had a little pet shop propped up on the toilet. And yesterday I finally got her to sit on it and stay for a bit. And hooray she did it! She got the pet shop and we did a dance and hoorays and made a huge deal about it. I thought we had succeeded and it was the start of something good. Five minutes later she finished the job in her underwear....I just wanted to scream or cry, but just sat clueless. Do I take the toy away? Yet, she did earn it by going in the toilet first. Of course now it is too late to do anything about that situation. I have already "swished" her panties in the toilet for the day, so I am relieved for the est of the day. Thats how it is--if she goes to bed at night and hasn't gone yet, I know I will be waking her up in a couple hours to change her. She doesn't like gettign woke up, but she still does it.
I can't think of any reason why she would be afraid of the potty for #2 but not # 1. I have thought that maybe she was constipated and it was too difficult, so I gave her fiber meds, and then I just get more disgusting underwear to clean out.
So if you are a professional potty trainer or can see what I am doing wrong here or can do...I am open to ideas. On the bright side I may be changing 1 pair of poopy pants each day, but it is better than her not being potty trained at all for the past year. I didn't even start potty training AJ until almost 3 so I have saved money on diapers as well. Although I buiy pull ups for naps and nights just in case. 
I read that the best time to potty train is well before they turn 2. The baby whisperer suggested as early as 9 mths when they can sit. You put them on the potty and condition them to go. In 1957 92% of kids were potty trained before they were 18 mths old. Now we have convenient diapers and pull ups and we are lazy. My grandma told me hers were potty trained at a year. I have always wondered why other experts say that you should wait until they are older becuase 2 is such a stubborn age. So although I think 9 mths is too early I am thinking of 18 mths for the next child. While he is still in the pleasing mommy stage....
1 comment:
Lexi did the same thing. I finally made her clean it up herself. It's her mess & not mine..I reminded her of this each time she had an accident. I would show her what to do. I gave her the stuff to clean it up & she did her best; she rinsed her underwear & wiped the poop from the toilet, or wherever it got. When she wasn't looking I went back & cleaned up the mess to my satisfaction. She got it on her hands & hated it, that's what did it. It only a couple times of that before there were no more accidents. Good luck!! Hope you can find something that works!
Post a Comment